The Master's Voice

I remember the year I discovered how to really write. I would sit at my dinky broken laptop, trying to somehow tap out my frustration. It was terrible. Maybe it was terrible because it was completely about me. It has been said that you can only truly know yourself, and I suppose I agree with that. But sometimes you’re so close you can’t see clearly. Knowing yourself can be difficult. So for years, I wrote to know who I was. That doesn’t make my writing any better. What I’ve found is that over the years, my concerns have changed. I once wondered whether I would heal. Now I wonder if the world will ever heal. Once I saw the world within myself. Now I see myself within the world.

Somehow, I navigated the chaotic waters of my soul. The stars shone the way, like they always did back then - but now I am in uncharted territory. I’m no longer fumbling around in the dark trying to find myself. I’ve found myself, but in a world much larger than I ever imagined. I’m lost all over again.

I feel so strongly these days! Whenever I think about life, my chest tightens up and my heart feels like it’s in my throat. I feel like I’ve climbed a mountain only to take in the view by myself. It’s like death, but smaller.

No one can teach you what death is like. You just have to experience it.

Sometimes I walk around and all I see are wooden marionettes with missing hearts. In a comic-like fashion, they each find themselves tangled, trying to fill the holes in their chests with anything that will fit. Is there anything that will fit? Can anything really fill that longing in our hearts?

I could fix myself. But I can’t fix anyone else.

Why are people so threatened by love? I’ve received so much resistance to the message of radical acceptance. Moreso than anything I’ve seen before. People don’t want to stop hating. They like feeling disdain and resentment. They use sarcasm and spite to give themselves courage, and they don’t even see it! Where are today’s heroes? Where are our prophets?

Our world is a web of voices, and it’s becoming harder and harder to distinguish the Master’s voice.