I'll take my want and the bruises and bumps that come along with it.

I've watched "Away We Go" two times now. I hate watching most movies more than once - but there are certain films that just awaken something inside of me. I can watch those films time and again. This was one of them.

In a lot of ways I don't know what real love should look like - that is - the relationship kind of love. I often over-think things and dissect my own feelings. I sometimes doubt the authenticity of my emotions, which in most cases is a valid response. I'm an imaginative guy, but I've never really been able to imagine what love should look like for me. It's much easier to identify those relationships in which I would rather not participate.

But for the first time, I've been able to envision a relationship that I can identify with. Yes, it's still a Hollywood fabrication. But that's not the point. The point is that I've had my imagination kindled. I want this thing.

It's hard, this wanting.

I've wanted before. I was younger and incomplete. I wanted someone else to make me whole. And it just doesn't work that way.

But this... this is different. I am "me." I am as "me" as I can get. This new wanting is different. It, too, is lonely - but not the needy, clingy lonely. It's the "I can't do this alone" kind of lonely. It's the "I can't change the world by myself" kind of lonely.

As I grow older, I understand that there is often a medium to life. I can't want people to complete me - but I can't close myself entirely off to people either. There's a line to walk. That's where this wanting is. It's a careful balance. It's a needy independence. Who knew?

But want leaves us open to hurt. When we want, sometimes we can't have. But that's just life. Sometimes we hurt.

The alternative? No feelings at all.

I'll take my want and the bruises and bumps that come along with it.