A friend from college recently asked me if I had any advice about youth ministry. I've been working as a Youth Director for almost six months, and even though I have much to learn, I can share some of my successes and failures. Here are some of the things I was surprised to learn about youth ministry:
1) Communication is vital!
I spent most of my time communicating. I write to parents. I write to youth council. I write to volunteers. I write to students. I write thank you letters. I write for the newsletter. I am constantly finding out that people need to know what's going on - not only with events, but with the heart and direction of the youth ministry. Everything you say, write, or do sends a message - you need to broadcast passion!
2) You're not just a youth minister.
Obviously, everyone has a different community, but I've found that I spend just as much time working with parents and volunteers as I do working with youth. This isn't a bad thing. You see a student for MAYBE a few hours a week... and that's in a group setting. If you want to impact their lives, impact your volunteers and impact their parents. They spend WAY more time with their kids than you do.
3) Middle Schoolers are way smarter than you give them credit for.
But good luck feeling that way when you're trying to keep them quiet. I've had the pleasure of seeing a group of Middle Schoolers grow over the last 6 months. We don't have an Xbox. We don't have a Wii. We have a 1987 nintendo and some beat-up games. We play games together, but more than anything, we try to know every single youth that walks through our doors - and we treat them like human beings. Middle Schoolers get patronized way too much. Talk real with them. They may not respond, but they get it a lot more than they show. Try throwing some deeper theological stuff their way. Ask them questions. Ask a lot of questions.
4) Getting volunteers is one of the hardest parts of youth ministry... but vital.
My goal is to have every student known by name. But you can only really know a few dozen people tops. Get adults involved! Ask people to help! Young people need adults (that are not their parents) to be involved in their lives. They don't have to be cool, smart, religious, or an extrovert. They just need to care. Students have a natural talent for spotting authenticity.
5) Super small things make huge impacts.
Compliment. Show that you're paying attention. When you're with your youth - be there. Be completely there. Don't let your mind wander. Be wholly present. Listen. Always see the strengths in your kids. Be patient.
6) You're a servant.
I've never felt so mentally and spiritually exhausted in my life. It takes tremendous energy to communicate with families and listen to their feedback. Listening is more than hearing. It's digesting and processing what they're going through. You're not special. You're serving these families and trying to help give them a place where they can be the best version of themselves - God's version of themselves. This takes constant consideration. Do not pursue your own agenda. Ask yourself, "Are the actions I'm taking going to serve my kids or their families?" That doesn't mean pampering them - sometimes it means pushing them a little out of their comfort zone - but only when it's based on Biblical truths, like generosity, holiness, or inclusion. But always speak humbly. Always make your intentions clear!
7) You'll never know how much of an impact you'll have.
There's a huge temptation in religious circles to emphasize an outward response to a teaching or worship experience. A leader can see these responses, but true development isn't showy. It's deep and may strike at the most random times. You'll say something off-hand and it'll profoundly impact a life. I like to think of this as the Holy Spirit moving through our groups. Even if it doesn't seem you're making an impact, always prepare. Teach something worthwhile. Teach with passion. But pray and study. You need to believe the things you say. You need to know them inside and out. But don't be surprised if the biggest impact comes from the most unexpected source.
8) YOU NEED REST!
Take a Sabbath. Decide upon a day of the week and make it holy. Turn off your cell phone. Don't check e-mail. Rest. It is good to work hard, but we aren't built to work without rest. You will make a greater impact if you're healthy inside and out.
9) Move slow.
If you're new, honor the traditions of the past. Don't try to change things quickly. It's enough of a change to bond with a new youth minister. After six months, I JUST changed our regular meeting nights. And even then, there's been hiccups. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
10) Support your fellow staff members.
This one is important. Your ministry is bound to interact with other aspects of the church. Be a source of light - even in your church office! You're a team - you're a family. Even if it's a little each day, show some support for your team! You'll be glad you did.
11) Theology is different in the real world.
Logic and reason were my friends in college. I could reason my way through all sorts of theological problems. But when it comes to people, most of that is nonsense. Good teaching isn't giving answers. It's getting them to ask the right kinds of questions. Jesus asked more questions of people than people asked him! If you're tempted to repeat an answer you heard before - think twice. If you weren't convinced, they won't be either. Balance mind and heart.
I'm sure there are things I've forgotten here, but these have all been a huge surprise to me. I arrived with a gung-ho attitude, and I'm grateful for the patience of the people in my life. Youth ministry is an amazing opportunity, and the better we are at our jobs, the more we effect lives. It's not homework where you get a grade. Your successes and failures will literally change lives. Pray, live in awe, rest, and learn.
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